How It All Began

October 28, 2008

I'm an Italophile. I love Italy. I love and speak the language, adore the food, find the people very entertaining and charming, have traveled to 73 Italian towns, studied there as an undergraduate, vacationed there for 20 years, and even lived there from 1998-2000 (that's another story I'll tell you one day).  I've never been a Francophile. In fact, I went to Paris in 1979, was so turned off by the people, I never returned to France in all these years, even though it bordered on Italy and I've been within a stone's throw many times. 

Every year I returned to Italy for vacation and, just to stay out of a rut, I added another country on to my annual treks...Malta, Turkey, Greece, Switzerland, Slovenia. I was running out of countries, so one year I decided it was time to do France. I figured how toxic could Provence be?  I, like many Americans, had succumbed to the media and political propaganda of the 'snobbish, rude, arrogant, self-centered French' - an almost daily meal fed to us in the States. Even still, I decided to venture out and, a one hour flight from Naples to Nice landed me on a train headed to Avignon, a city in Provence. That's where fate caught up with me.

Within an hour, a handsome man, 45ish, sat in the seat across from me. I could feel my heart leap but I tried to play it cool. We kept glancing in each others' directions in hopes of not being caught by the other. It was electricity. I finally couldn't stand it anymore and asked him if he spoke English. No. Did I speak French? No. Did he speak Italian? No. Did I speak German? No. We gave up and just stared at each other for the next 2 hours. Avignon approached, I pulled out my hotel information, and we got off the train, waving good-bye to each other at the station. An opportunity missed. But oh well, it's for the best. Right?

Three days later at my hotel, I was eating breakfast, looked up from my table, and there he was....just standing there with an arm full of English-French dictionaries and grammar books. I was stunned. He had gotten onto another train - what was he doing in Avignon? He asked me, in broken English, if I would spend the day with him. I couldn't say no. This was too mysterious and irresistible! As the day progressed I learned that he had gone camping with his friends but he couldn't stop thinking about me. Two years after his divorce, I was the first woman who had brought something alive in his heart and he couldn't let it go. He had left his friends, got back on the train for the four hour ride, and been hanging out at my hotel (he had seen the hotel name on the train as I pulled the information out from my purse). He finally had found me after two days of searching. For us female Americans, this sounds a lot like stalking, I know. It even entered my mind at the time, but I think that's a cultural bias we bring from living in a violent society where women are often victims.

I learned his name was Bernard and he was the sweetest, kindest man I had ever met. That day together was the beginning of the greatest love story of my life - a love that took me 46 years to find. It was also the beginning of the biggest adventure of my life and some of the most challenging and joyful moments I've ever experienced.

When Bernard left his camping buddies to find me in Avignon, his friends told him that if he found me they would buy him a Ferrari. We're still waiting for them to drive that baby into our garage!

Comments

[Cyn]

Ciao Cinzia!
WHAT A ROMANTIC, AMAZING, WONDERFUL STORY! It sounds like something out of a movie! It gave me the chills (in a good way). I am so happy for you that you found the love of your life and that you weren't afraid to give it a chance. Rebooting ones life (starting over) can be a scary thing, but it can also be incredible as well. I still pinch myself everyday because I can't believe that this girl from Indiana is in Italy with the love of her life.

Tanti tanti auguri on your up and coming wedding! Do keep in touch!
Cynthia (too)
ps. What color will your Ferrari be, hehehehe?

[Cynthia Caughey (blog owner)]

Hi, Cynthia, thanks so much for your comment. Yes, we both took the risks and leap of faith and it has worked out well for us. I think it takes a certain kind of person to do this. I hope to get in your neighborhood someday and maybe we'll have the opportunity to meet. Keep up the good work on your blog and Buona Fortuna o Bon Courage. Please stay in touch. Cyn2

[Sheila]

Great story!

[Kimberlee]

wow!I had to come to the beginning as I am always curious what prompts bloggers to commence...Hope I find more on this topic as I browse.

BTW, my very first trip to France included a trip to Avignon where I promptly tumbled further in love with my beloved la France. Unlike you, I immediately connected with the Parisian 'tude because I've always been accused of being a bit too..ahem..'direct' in my approach as well !!

[cynthia caughey]

Hi, Kimberlee, Yes, it was a pretty dramatic and romantic start. We've had our cultural and personality adjustments along the way but nothing that couldn't be worked out. I had no idea how different American and French cultures were until I moved here. Bernard is a fairly private person so I respect that and don't talk about him or us on the blog much, but you will get a decent dose of 'us' in the next month since we marry in 3 weeks (April 25) and I plan to put a video or two about it on the blog. I need to go back and read your blog about how you started. I'm sure it's interesting as well. Cynthia (Blog owner)